When Your Child Says, “I Don’t Want to Talk About It

Sometimes, your child shuts down.

Maybe there were tears at school drop-off.

Maybe their face changed the moment you walked through the door.

Maybe something didn’t go right, and now they’re curled up, arms crossed, voice quiet:

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

As a parent, those words can feel like a wall.

Frustrating. Worrying. Sometimes even a little painful.

You want to help.

You want to fix it.

You want to wrap them in words that make it better.

But…

This is the moment to pause.

Not push.

 What to Say Instead:

Try gently saying:

“That’s okay. When you’re ready, I’m here.”

That’s it.

Simple. Steady. Safe.

It sends a powerful message:

You don’t have to explain yourself to be loved.

You don’t have to be ready to talk on someone else’s timeline.

You don’t have to “perform” your emotions to stay connected.

Why Silence Can Be Safety

When a child says they don’t want to talk, it doesn’t always mean they’re shutting you out.

Often, they’re still sorting through what they feel inside.

Big feelings — especially those like shame, anger, fear or confusion — take time to process.

And pushing for answers too soon can accidentally teach them that their feelings are only welcome when they’re neat, tidy, and ready to be shared.

But when you hold space — calmly, without pressure — you teach them something else:

 I trust you to come to me when you’re ready.

 I will wait with love.

You are not alone.

Percy’s Way

If Percy could speak in that moment, he might nudge your knee with his nose and say:

“No rush. I’m right here when you’re ready. We can just sit for now.”

And sometimes, just sitting - with a story, a cuddle, or simply side-by-side - is all your child really needs.

The Trust You’re Building

When you honour a child’s need for space, you’re building something incredibly important:

Emotional trust.

You’re proving that your love isn’t conditional.

It doesn’t need answers to exist.

It doesn’t need fixing to be present.

That’s the kind of love that stays with them.

The kind that whispers I’m here. Always.

And it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give.